The Problem with "Nice"
If you ask most men today what it means to be a Christian man, you’ll likely hear words like "polite," "quiet," or "inoffensive." We’ve been conditioned to believe that the highest virtue of faith is agreeableness. We think that if we just keep our heads down, avoid conflict, and smile, we are doing God’s work.
But there is a massive problem with this line of thinking: "Nice" is not a fruit of the Spirit. Goodness is.
There is a profound difference between being a "Nice Guy" and a "Good Guy." One is rooted in fear; the other is rooted in power. One seeks the approval of man; the other seeks the approval of God. If we want to lead our families and communities with integrity, we have to stop aiming for safety and start aiming for truth.
Nice is Safe. Good is Dangerous.
The distinction between "nice" and "good" isn't just semantics; it's spiritual warfare. Being "nice" is often a camouflage for cowardice. The Nice Guy avoids difficult conversations because he’s afraid of the fallout. He tolerates evil in his home or workplace because he wants to "keep the peace." His primary motivation is external comfort and social preservation.
Being "good," however, is terrifyingly different. Biblical goodness (agathosyne in Greek) is active. It is a zealous moral excellence that loves truth more than it loves comfort. A Good Guy loves his family enough to have hard conversations. He loves his community enough to stand against injustice, even if it makes him unpopular.
C.S. Lewis captured this perfectly in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. When the children ask Mr. Beaver if Aslan, the great lion who represents Christ, is safe, the answer echoes through the heart of every man who wants to live with purpose:
"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver ... "Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."
We worship a God who is not safe. Why do we think He wants harmless men?
Meekness is Not Weakness: The Warhorse
One of the biggest lies told to Christian men is that "meekness" means being a doormat. We hear "blessed are the meek" and imagine a man who has no backbone.
But the ancient Greek word for meekness, praus, was used to describe a warhorse. In the ancient world, a warhorse was a massive beast capable of crushing skulls and trampling enemies. But a "meek" horse was one that had been trained to respond to the slightest touch of its master’s rein.
A wild horse has power but no control. A weak horse has control but no power. A meek horse—a warhorse—has strength under control.
This is the model for the Good Guy. You are not called to be harmless. You are called to be dangerous against evil, capable of great strength, but completely disciplined under the authority of Christ. A man without the capacity for aggression cannot be truly good; he is just harmless. A Good Guy has the sword, knows how to use it, but keeps it sheathed until the moment truth demands it be drawn.
Jesus Wasn't "Nice"
If you need proof that "nice" is not the goal, look at Jesus. The modern world loves to paint Him as a soft-spoken teacher who just wanted everyone to get along. They forget the Jesus of the temple courts.
When Jesus saw the money changers exploiting the poor and turning God’s house into a marketplace, He didn't politely ask them to leave. He didn't form a committee to discuss the issue. He made a whip of cords and flipped tables. He drove them out.
Why was this "Good"?
It was good because He cared more about the holiness of His Father’s house than the feelings of the corrupt men defiling it. He wasn't being "nice"—he was being fiercely, dangerously Good.
Jesus was often gentle, yes. He was tender with the broken and the repentant. But He was never "nice" to the arrogant or the hypocritical. He possessed a spine of steel. As husbands and fathers, we must learn this balance. We must be tender enough to comfort a crying child, yet fierce enough to flip tables when spiritual danger threatens our homes.
The Call to Action: Be Dangerous, Be Disciplined
The world has enough "Nice Guys." It has enough men who will stand by silently while culture crumbles and families drift. What we need are Good Men.
We need men who are:
- Conviction-based, not fear-based: Men who do what is right because it is right, not because it is easy.
- Willing to disrupt the peace: Sometimes you have to break a false peace to establish true peace.
- Dangerous against evil: Men who are a threat to darkness because they walk in the light.
This is the heartbeat behind Good Guy Gear. We aren't just selling apparel; we are championing a mindset. When you wear our gear, you are signaling that you are done with passive, polite Christianity. You are stepping into the arena of authentic, bold faith.
Don’t settle for being a nice guy. Be a man of conviction. Be a man of strength. Be a Good Guy.
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